COVID DATING: Five (5) tips on where to go and what to do on a pandemic date.

Author: S. Gordon-Jeffery 

What interesting times we've been living in! The COVID-19 pandemic has affected every facet of human life and existence. Telling people that are used to being close to each other in social gatherings/interactions to keep 6 feet apart, not hug or touch is easy, actually doing/enforcing the distancing is the hard part. Even after a year of Covid-19 protocols, we still can't seem to get it right. 

What an intrusion this virus has been! For some of us in relationships, it may be a time of grave conflict and mental/emotional strain between spouses. Combined with the loss of income, some couples find themselves teetering on the brink of break up or divorce.  

Fortunately for others, this time has helped them realise what's most important. Ironically, the pandemic, though a disruptive and terrifying experience, has rekindled many relationships, pushing people to work on building and fortifying close bonds. 

For individuals who have not yet found that special someone however, it can be a very lonely and uncertain time. A single person may be hesitant about dating at this time and could be wondering, "Do I really want to look for love during a pandemic? Maybe I should wait a little longer and see what happens with this virus."

If this is how you're thinking, I don't blame you at all. It's a rough time for everyone. Persons have lost their jobs or regrettably their loved ones. So you're probably in mourning right now. And that's ok. But, if you do feel you're strong enough or you've being blessed to be going through this pandemic relatively unscathed and wish to explore you're dating options safely and wisely, I have the tips for you to navigate through this season of pandemic dating. This is the first blog post in the series 'Covid dating'.

Pandemic dating

For pandemic dating you have to consider where you're going on your date. You need a location or venue that is not cramped and lacking in space. You would have to also acknowledge that it won't only be you and your date going out to enjoy yourselves.  With the easing of restrictions, he, she and the old lady will be hitting the road to get some fun in. With that said, here are some tips on where to go and what you could do on your date during these pandemic times.

1. Plan a river/beach/outdoor date

Thank goodness the parks, beaches and rivers have been authorized open by the government! Now persons like miself cyan leave wi yaad and get some sunshine and cool breeze! 😊 Lol.  

Consider having a date at a public beach! Bring your nice beach towel, your sexy body (be confident in your body shape and size) and food, and have a nice picnic date. Bring fruits, water, sandwiches or some delicious, crispy fried chicken (we all kno' which type a fry chicken Jamaicans partial to), maybe a little 'bubbly' (a wine mi mean —alcoholic or nonalcoholic) and just enjoy each other's company. 

If you're both up to it, consider bringing a board game, a ball or some other game enhancer to mix things up. No, nuh carry nuh video game! It's a date, so date. Talk. Any game that is introduced should enhance the dating experience not detract from it.

Soak up the sun, play cards or any other game you wish. Make sure you have your hand sanitizers, your mask and bring hand wipes as well. For river dates same thing. Make sure you don't stray off the safe, well known path to get to the river. Gentlemen don't walk off leff yuh date and ladies don't go wondering off far from where the crowd is. Y'ere!

For a nice park or a recreational property like Devon House, there's always the space to adequately distance between you and your date, and of course other persons around you. Whol' heap a grass land and space deh deh fi spread one sheet and jus' siddung, eat ice cream and chat. No. Not getting paid to advertise. You can always try any of the other parks and wide open public spaces that are easy to access and can accommodate persons spaced out 6 feet apart.

The key here is to be in an area where there is ample space to social ahm.. mi mean physically distance as much as possible between yourself and your date, and other folks also seeking fun and relaxation.

2. Dating online: Social media, messaging apps or video calling.

You've heard of dating apps, but did you know you can find connections on social media? It has been said that several persons have made love connections on Facebook, etc. In fact, Facebook has dedicated an algorithm to helping you find your match on their platform! Find out more here. What about Twitter? There's a dating app called 'Loveflutter' that created a version called 'Blue' that is specifically for Twitter users with verified accounts  —those with the blue tick beside their name. To find out more go to Loveflutter App (@loveflutter) on Twitter. Why not check these options out. It could happen to you too. Go online now and make friends. 

What about the messaging apps?

Yeh man! Call di girl pon Whatsapp sir. It still free. 

According to Cosmopolitan, a first date should last no more than an hour, 57 minutes to be exact. [1]   So let me then say this: In these Covid-19 times where going out for drinks and food could be a little risky for people health wise, a virtual date is not a bad idea. Spending 30 minutes chatting on Whatsapp or any of the other messaging apps could be a safe and convenient way to date someone, especially as a first date, considering you're still finding out more about the basics. Check it: you can call the person, once you both have a reliable connection, and if it's phone data, with these social media unlimited data plans Flow and Digicel promoting, it's the right time to do it.

Zoom dates seem to be a big hit in the U.S., so yeah, that could be an option for connecting without being physically close to someone. [2] Be sure to keep items out of the periphery view of the person you do not want them to see. In these times you can never be too careful. You don't want to share your personal space yet if you don't want to. It could work but I'm not a fan, but to be objective, I thought I would still mention it. Make sure you set up your camera in an area of your home or at a location where there is no give away to where you are. Keep your video date brief —30 to 40 minutes tops, just a get to know each other Zoom call. Use it to determine if you would actually want to go on an in-person date. If so, set up the follow-up date at a place where you're both mutually comfortable to meet.

3. Lunch date

Go on a quick lunch date! Yes. It cyan work man! Agree on the time and day with your person of interest. You guys meet at a nice restaurant, a cafe or even a fast food place. Order the food, gwaan chat while it a prepare and then collect, eat an' duh more chatting. Kinda like speed dating but with food and just one person. These pandemic curfews are no joke and being in breach of them and other DRMA protocols can land you in jail or with an expensive fine you don't want to pay, so make the lunch date count. 

After lunch, unnu exchange pleasantries, elbow bump and go back to work or your next errand. Interactions can continue later. Where? On social media. Yup. Duh unnu likkle chat bout how di lunch went and if unnu wah plan a nex' meet up. However, if you don't wish to pick up the convo where you left off, online, no biggie. Move forward, no hard feelings.

4. Go for a Walk 

Are you an avid participant of long reflective walks? Have you met someone who seems to have a similar interest in walking as exercise? Plan a date.

 Right now you're thinking like, "uh?" Yes. I said make it a date. You'll be doing something you both love —walking, exercise. If possible, invite the person on a little walk with you. I used to see folks walking, holding hands in Emancipation Park or walking on the beach. It can be considered a date if you didn't know. 

Luk ere! Dating nuh affi be one bag a spending, guh inna a fancy restah-raunt and braffing! Spending weh you doan hav' on and for someone weh nuh want yuh and might nuh even like yuh! 

A date can be as unique as the persons doing it. Be creative. 

Of course some folks will say, "No sah! Mi nuh wah nuh boddi si mi swetty!"  

You can decide to make the walk a leisurely stroll at an easy pace. Take your time and enjoy the exercise and the conversation. It doesn't have to be anything rigorous, just a nice, slow, even paced walk, while you both talk and know each more. Make sure to bring your water to keep hydrated; an energy bar or a snack to munch on, along with your hand sanitizer, etc. Dats all mi a guh seh right yah suh.

5. Take a drive out to the country

It can be you and your date or better yet, a group of friends. Plan a group outing and invite your person on the trip. It could be a quaint little cottage some where on the north coast, an affordable hotel or even a family house that you can stay at and have fun.

Haa! Think about it the cleaner, fresher air; the quiet and calming setting. The change of scenery may do you some good. Now, I wouldn't classify this as a first date idea, but it could be, if you've known the person for some time. Say possibly, a co-worker or some other type of acquiantance you've become romantically interested in. Try it and let me know how it went.

Oh! Make sure you plan who brings what and the logistics of picking up food, bottled water, over the counter drugs such as pain killers and your basic medical supplies, medication and other necessaries such as wipes, sanitizers and so on. Bring cash also, no, not just your debit/credit card. Cash may come in handy so have this available. 

 Play games and other activities, for example shooting pool is good, if that's available. Choose activites that help you to see how the person interacts with you and others. No pressure, let's see how it goes.

Thanks so much for reading this article. Hope you found it fun but also eye opening. Next Friday I will be sharing on the emotional aspect of dating during a pandemic —being emotionally intelligent in these unprecedented times for your sake and the person you interact with on your dates is critical. Look out for COVID DATING: Tips to finding love in a pandemic. See ya then!

References:

1. Conti, Gabi. Hot Take: First Dates Should Only Last 57 Minutes. Cosmopolitan, Published 3 February 2020. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a30705522/first-date-length-tip/
2. Taylor, Elise. The Zoom Date: Single Life During a Pandemic. Vogue, published 1 April 2020, https://www.vogue.com/article/the-zoom-date-single-life-during-a-pandemic

      Jamaican creole (patois) in Italic font

Edited 31 December 2021.